Time is this precious gift that we often take for granted. Living for the next moment takes away all our enjoyment of the present. This year with the big life event we experienced and loosing a few friends and relatives it was easy to get stuck in a negative thought pattern. At one point when everything became too much for me I felt like giving up. Typing this now makes me sad to remember how low I really fell.
In some ways it was good, I scared myself. I saw the way I had just been sliding into this personal darkness and how it was affecting me and those around me. I made a goal to meditate everyday for at least 15 minutes. At first my anxiety was so bad that the meditation was the only thing that stilled me to come back to present. I started seeing my psychotherapist again as well. In explaining to her the events of this year she congratulating me on using my resource tools such as her and meditation. It was nice to feel something positive, I knew,somewhere inside, what would help and I utilized these tools.
My partner and I went on hikes almost daily with our dogs, weekends we got out and enjoyed nature and I would just try to soak in each moment. With my mind focused on the present moment I was able to start feeling my anxiety minimize. Little by little things got better. I found a yoga class I loved and made it a goal to make it to one weekday session every week.
In savoring each moment as much as possible I have begun to feel lighter. Happiness has come back into my life naturally. I randomly decided I would learn the piano again and have been committing to 20 minutes minimum a day. In my yoga class I found a wonderful teacher and yoga style that speaks strongly to me. Each day I feel more full of life.
There will be no end for me taking life moment by moment, this is where life happens. This work I have been doing and will continue doing is my practice. It is not something I do easily, sharing little bits of myself with an audience that I may not know. I do think that this practice is useful and should be shared though.
So enjoy the little moments, be conscious, feel the sunshine, feel the breeze. Take a deep breath and feel your heart beating. Life isn't about the next moment, it is about this moment here and now, enjoy it.